Empty Nest
Posted: 9/15/2011
Categories: Sermon Series
EMPTY NEST: with many kids going off to college and school back in session, many parents are facing the prospects of living in an empty house. On the personal note, this is exactly what my wife, Lynn, and I are facing. However, I'm realizing there’s no reason to live an EMPTY LIFE just because your child leaves home!
After having spent two and a half decades as a parent, it is only reasonable to expect that this change will prove difficult. You might experience some of the following: sadness, fear in what your role in life is now, major adjustments in what you do each day, how you view yourself, and how your marriage functions.
The difficulties of "empty nest" used to belong almost exclusively to women who were the primary caretakers of the children. However, men likewise may experience this as many dads have become far more involved in their children's lives then previous generations of dads.
Honestly, there are times I long to return to the mornings of waking my three kids up and making them breakfast before I would drive them to school. Since Lynn was a teacher and needed to be to school early, I had the "daddy role" of curling Bethany's and Brianne's hair or combing it into "pig-tails" every morning. The countless hours in the car with back packs, school art projects, snow boots, giving spelling quiz's and loads of conversations of everything under the sun. Those were precious and priceless times! Now as parents, we face this empty nest thing.
As harsh as it may sound, I've come to the conclusion that we must encourage our children to "fly away". The truth is, if you have done a good job, then your child will fly from the nest. It’s important for them to be happy and healthy adults. If you look like you will fall apart when they leave, then they won’t be able to emotionally leave, which is necessary for their development. Of course they will always be your child, but now you need to find a more adult relationship with them.
Today, my wife and I are enjoying this new season of our lives and re-discovering a relationship with each other that is not based on the kids. Now that our children have left, we find many times where we are left alone with each other. This can be a great thing in that you finally have privacy and the run of the house and travel with "much less" luggage. Unfortunately, some husbands and wives have allowed their marriage to stagnate, and once the kids are gone, there is nothing left to hold the marriage together. This is when it becomes very important for you to exert a lot of effort to reestablish romance.
As I wrap this up, I realize possibly this blog was written more for myself than for anyone else. Is that selfish? It's not intended to be, instead just one family dealing with LIFE CHANGE. I have come to the conclusion that it's good for "empty nesters" to talk with other "empty nesters". Something I've observed is that you won’t get much sympathy from those who've never gone through it. Of course talking with your partner is a great place to begin which should make you feel closer and "not so alone". I'd like to hear some thoughts!